Donna: Okay, good night, two cowboys.
Ben: Reach for the sky, Pocahontas.
Donna: No, back to bed. Come on. Pocahontas is off duty. You getting sick, sheriff?
Michael: I don't got time to be sick, so no. I need to watch this documentary1 on Asian architecture.
Donna: Well, you gotta get some rest sometime, sweetheart. Besides, the woodland creatures will laugh at you if you collapse2 trying to put up the tent this weekend.
Michael: Yeah. I forgot to tell you. We gotta postpone3 the camping trip. Ammer put me on a project. It's due Tuesday. If I don't finish this design, I'm off it, so...
Donna: The kids have been talking about camping all year.
Michael: Think I don't know that? It's just every choice I make, everything I do, I disappoint somebody.
Donna: So, maybe make sure you don't keep disappointing the wrong people.
Michael: Honey, I'm not out drinking or gambling4 or hitting on chicks. I'm working my ass5 off so my family can have a better life than I've dreamed about when I was a kid. The only way for that to happen is for me to watch this stinking6 show! So relax, hon. Ah! Are you kidding me? Will you give me a break one time? Damn7 it! The O'Doyles got a stinking universal remote control. We're gonna have one too. I'm sick of this.
Donna: You want me to open the garage for you?
Michael: Yeah. Closed. Closed. Open. Bed Bath Beyond it is. Hey, man? You guys got universal remote controls in there?
Man: For a shower curtain or a bathmat?
Michael: For a television.
Man: I don't think so. Maybe for a blanket?
Michael: You got a remote for a blanket?
Man: Im sorry, dude. I don't work here. I'm waiting for my friends.
Michael: You're kidding me.
Man: Actually, yes. I don't have any friends. Will you be my friend? Wow, wow, man.
Michael: Bed. Bed. Bath. Bath. Bed. So tired of my life. Beyond? Sorry to sneak8 up on you. I just... You guys got a universal remote control back here?
Morty: Something stinks9 like stale French fries.
Michael: All right, that's probably me.
Morty: You know, fast food shortens10 your life.
Michael: Yeah, that's what I heard. But the way my life's been going lately, that ain't such a bad thing.
Morty: You're looking for a universal remote control?
Michael: Yeah. Just one device to do it all for me... make my life a little easier, quicker, not so damn complicated.
Morty: I'm not supposed to do this, but you seem like a good guy.
Michael: Hey. Somebody noticed. Thank you.
Morty: I'm gonna show you a remote we just got in that's probably the most advanced piece of technology we have in this place.
Michael: Sounds sweet.
Morty: It is sweet. The latest, greatest universal remote not even on the market yet.
Michael: I guess the O'Doyles' remote can bite my advanced-technological ass then.
Morty: I don't know the O'Doyles. But they can bite it hard.
妙语佳句，活学活用
1. Off duty
这个片语大家并很熟悉，off duty 的意思是not at one's post or work; at liberty，比如：They spent their days off duty in hiking and fishing.
Off duty 的反义词就是on duty，意为At one's post, at work，比如：The new nurse was on duty that evening.
2. Be off
Be off 有Be free from work, school, or some other regular occupation的意思，在这个电影片段中Michael 的意思是假如他不可以在到期之前完成设计的话，他就不可以再做这个设计工程了。大家来看个例子：The secretary is off today, but perhaps I can find it.
3. Hit on
Hit on 这个俚语的意思是骚扰，勾引，比如：John loves to go out and hit on chicks.